kevilars's Xanga

I have moved

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:11:17 GMT

I have moved my blog to http://anatomyofinsomnia.blogspot.com/, check it out

My nightly thoughts

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:28:05 GMT

So while I watch c-span tonight in an effort to dull my brain into sleep, I was thinking about yesterday, and I just feel a little bit betrayed by my shrink. When you have been seeing someone for so long(professionally), I think there should be a trust that's more than just the regular patient-client confidentiality thing. And to just peddle his wares for an extra pad on his paycheck just seems a bit of a betrayal. It has also made me begin to think why I see him. How is talking to him helping my situation. It is nice to have someone to talk to, but do I really need someone with a PhD to talk to for the effect I want? Well, back to C-span.... _uacct = "UA-4853225-1";urchinTracker();

You know me, I'm your friend, Your main boy, Thick and thin, I'm your Pusherman

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 16:05:12 GMT

I had my lady friend over last night, and I may have scared her a bit because apparently I was talking in my sleep... a lot... and she said there was a period of time that I was sleeping with my eyes open after talking in my sleep. I remember dreaming but not what of, and she wasn't able to tell me exactly what I was saying. I remember as a kid, I would sleep walk from time to time, my parents would find me in the morning sleeping in random parts of the house and i wouldn't know how I got there. And a few times while camping I accidentally collapsed the tent by trying to walk through the walls in my sleep. Be kind of weird if I started walking in my sleep again

I was at my headshrinker this morning told him about all my recent sleeping issues, life issues and so forth, and at the end he tells me he wants to change my prescription, and I had noticed on the way in an advertisement in the lobby for this particular med, and on his office desk was a large file folder with the brand logo on it as well.
I'm sure everyone knows about how doctors, shrinks, and people in the medical field are paid by the pharmaceutical companies to encourage people to take their new stuff. I've been going to this guy for 3 years though, so it kinda makes me lose faith in him that he's pushing this on me for a few extra bucks. I told him I'd stick to what I'm currently taking.

What do you think every single person should try at least once in his or her life time?

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:32:23 GMT

I actually have a list of these things
1. Shrooms, it's by far one of the most mind expanding things you can do. Not by any means is regular use reccomended, just once in your life or so
2. Sky diving... and if you mess up, you will only do it once in your life
3. Take a shot of hot sauce, it's like a slap in the face
4. Spend a night just using cheap pickup lines to try to get a date

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Sleep, finally... or not

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:35:18 GMT

So I lay down to sleep earlier and managed to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. But no that wasn't meant to be.
A week ago, the girl I started dating told me she had had a nightmare the night before, so being a compassionate boyfriend I told her, she could call me any time if it happened again. Now I was serious about this, but what just happened was different.
I got a call from her and the first thing she said was, "I'm mad at you." So I ask why, and she says, "I just had a dream about you, and you ignored me, we were with your friends and you didn't pay attention to me and flirted with other girls in front of me, and I'm mad at you." I grumbled words of reassurance and tried to go back to sleep, but no... didn't work.
And it was less than 7 hours until I had to go to work so I didn't want to risk taking any sleep medication. I wish they'd make something that would knock me out for just 4 hours and that's it.
Oh and I dropped an EX rating on this just for the hell of it.

If you had to be stuck in an elevator for 2 days with someone, who would it be and why?

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:32:50 GMT

If it were half a day I'd choose Jesssica Alba, but more than that she's so small she'd get hungry too fast and might eat me. For 2 days, I think I'd choose Eva Mendez

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Scratch that last assumption

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:39:17 GMT

Well crap, I may be getting my own Tyler. I was just sitting in the break room spacing out and the next thing I knew I was at my desk and it was an hour and a half later... who knows what kind of cell based urban terrorism group I started or how many fights I started with myself in that time. Well, back to work now.

Can't sleep... clowns will eat me

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:16:00 GMT

I'm not as crazy as my headline, but I really can't sleep.
I don't think I'll have my own Tyler Durden at any time soon, but something needs to be done.
Ever since high school back in the day I have had trouble trying to sleep at night. And during the day too. And as a result, I always feel tired. And worse than that, I'm always afraid I'll fall asleep at a time that may be harmful to myself, my social life, or my job.
My acquaintances think I just space out a lot, the girl I just started dating just thinks I'm a night person, and most other people just see me as a normal person while I think I'm anything but that.
Anyone who has had chronic sleep problems will tell you that it's not just the night that gives you problems but the days as well. Well I guess I'll be using my days to work my job and I'll be using my nights to blog until I fall asleep... hopefully.

So, my name is Kevin, and I'm an insomniac.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:38:26 GMT

Greetings to all... going to start up a blog soon about an interesting part of my life that no one really talks about, so stay tuned